t.o.o. m.u.c.h. p.a.i.n.~.

i think, i was drowing in my own breath. i tried to escape from my own body but i couldn't get away from my own feets.i was helpess. pathetic. i couldn't think of any sweet memories of mine that i can use to cheer my self up. i was with my friends yesterday, hanged around klcc..had a nice picnic under a cool green tree of klcc's park. still, my mind was away. ran further and further from my own soul. i hate this. i mean it! i really hate dis!!

(**!)

SAYA MUNGKIN BUKAN KAWAN YANG BAIK.MAAF.

s.a.y.a.....

saya mahu menulis.namun macm biasa. saya tidak bersemangat.

ada perkara yg ingin saya kongsikan. tapi saya belum bersedia mahu berkata kata.

huh.apekah?

s.a.y.a. m.a.h.u. p.u.l.a.n.g.~.

eh.saya.mahu.pulang.

yea.tiket.pukul.lapan.tiga.puluh.malam.nie.

jom.packing.~.

mahu.jumpa.kawan.kawan.lama.ah.rindunya!

a. .d.e.s.a. p.e.r.d.a.n.a. t.a.l.e.~.

so here it comes. an end of my SBE. officially, my duty as an observer ended. no more gasping in the class, waiting for the teacher to end the period, no more running away from the school clerks, no more loitering at canteen, no more kids around, no more students to greet me "good morning teacher" and no more suffer waking up early in the morning. *big sigh*. somehow these turn ambivalent to me. my feeling mixed up.at a certain moment, i feel very happy being at school.to get know the kids, talking and laughing with them, make them stay in silence during relief classes and having some games with them.also, to get know the teachers who always assist me whenever i am in trouble.oh yes, not to forget the school's principal.haha.last week, i was in shocked when i knew that smkdp's principal is my 'nenek saudara'.unbelievable right? i was in ambiguous too.(~~!).

indeed, sbe was a valuable experience to me.but for others, i have no idea.i think it was valuable for them too.hihihi.

smk desa perdana.always in my heart.hihihihi(^^!)

s.a.y.a......

diam.saya bosan.

.(~~!).

picture narrates better than words!

the conclusion is~ im happy! tq~

m.a.i.n. z.a.p.i.n.~.

jumaat lepas, selesai solat magrib, aku pakai bagi nampak macho siket.rambut aku sikat bagi lurus. baju ala ala budak nerd aku pakai jatuh ke badan.seluar jeans kaler gelap pudar aku matchkan ngan baju.selesai pakai jam, kasut pulak aku pilih.ada dua pilihan.satu kasut paul smith kaler putih belang belang merah belah tepi dengan kasut ala ala kungfu petak hitam putih.pilih punya pilih, kasut kungfu aku pakai.selesai semua, aku turun ke park bus..

dua tiga minit jejak kaki dalam bus, henpon berdecit.ringtone 21 guns sayup sayup bunyi dalam poket seluar.dengan gaya macho, henpon aku tarik keluar. bukak skrin-nama pemanggil tertera

fatihaha ipba calling~

"eh demo, ado gapo bowoh tu demo" 

"kawe nop g aswara ni demo, ada jemputan main zapin"

dua tiga minit melalak dengan phatty, panggilan di end kan.tiba masa bus bergerak, aku duk diam.sekali sekala bercakap ngn member sebelah.sebenarnya ini dah kali ketiga aku ke aswara. kali pertama dulu pegi dgn kawan tengok budak budak aswara berseni dalam JAMU. dalam diam aku kagum. mereka hebat dalam berseni.aku ingatkan anak mak cik limah kampung sebelah je yang hebat berseni, rupanya budak aswara pon sama hebat.kali kedua, theater dari universiti chulalongkorn yang aku tengok.hebat!. dan ini kali ketiga, untuk main zapin.

sampai di aswara, aku dah x sabar nak masuk panggung eksperimen. tiket dah beli. show dah mula.dah masuk dance ke dua dah pun.aku masih lagi kat luar.cam gampang.dua tiga minit, akak manis bagi masuk.dapat seat bahagian depan.haha.zapin melayu memang hebat.dan aku terkesima bila ada zapin dari kelantan.zapin salor nama nya.ada ka? sepanjang di kota bharu, x penah pulak aku tengok zapin salor.tapi aku terlepas zapin tersebut.masuk zapin yang ketiga dan seterusnya, aku dan beberapa kawan yang lain bertepuk bagai nak rak.terpegun dengan keunikkan zapin produk aswara.

dalam diam, aku usha minah yg berzapin.cute!.aku suka.haha.masuk waktu rehat, aku ke luar. menjenguk amoi di pintu masuk yang seakan akan mempromote sumthing. dia punya cakap memaksa aku beli majalah yg dijualnya.huh.habis doblas hengget aku.then, acara disambung. samar samar aku nampak kawan aku si izz berzapin sama.kesana kesini rancak berzapin.dalam hati, aku berbisik perlahan.mesti penat nak mam.tamat main zapin, aku bertepuk sakan lagi.tangan naik merah asyikbertepuk tampar.habis acara, selepas menunggu si izz yang barangkali sibuk bersama penonton, aku berjalan pulang ke bus.lima minit, bus penuh.dari awara kembali ke ipba.

 

 amoi amoi cute dalam jamu 2009~

S.B.E.~. s.e.m.u.a. .b.a.n.g.u.n. e.a.r.l.y.!.

pagi pagi, alarm berdansa mengejutkan seisi bilik. minggu lepas, cukup seminggu aku bangun seawal jam enam pagi bersiap untuk ke sekolah. memang diluar kebiasaan. hari hari biasa, tatkala matahari memancar diufuk timur barulah mata ni mahu celik. kelam kabut mandi, solat subuh yang pastinya lewat. selesai semuanya, lif purba blok 4 jadi tempat menunggu. dari blok asrama berlari lari anak ke bilik kuliah. kebiasaanya kalau lewat begini, maka akan adalah org atasan mundar mandir di hujung tangga atas sana.

muka serius, buku salah laku ditangan sambil bercekak pinggang

"dah pukul berapa ni?....kad matrik mana bang?..."

kalu bernasib baik, maka lepas lah.kalo tidak 'pakej lewat' jadi habuan. nama dicatit, pot pet pot pet pun dapat.memang lengkap! seminggu bangkit jam enam pagi terasa seperti culture shock.mana tidaknya. jam 7 sudah bertolak ke sekolah. gara gara SBE (school based experience) hidup jadi tak keruan. tiba di sekolah, ikut cekgu cekgu disana ke dataran perhimpunan. selesai disana, berjalan mcm itik pulang petang ke bilik guru menunggu tugasan hari itu.sehari, 2 period aku kena relief. dapat kelas depan ok lah.dapat kelas hujung, bernyawa pun x lepas. si abang dan akak kerani tu pulak tak habis habis cari kami nak suh relief kelas.

still, sbe ada kebaikkanya. no worries! aku bnyak belajar. kalo tidak belajar nak handle budak budak nakal, aku belajar macm mana nak lari dari kerani.haha. lagi satu, minah indon kat kantin tu agak lawa jugak. bila aku ada kat kantin jer, mesti dia tanya

'ya cekgu, nak apa ya cekgu?'

sambil tngan ligat membalik daging burger di atas kuali panas, dia sempat tersenyum.haha.tapi aku x kisah sangat kat dia. yang aku kisah, aku nak makan.perut berdecit bila sampai kantin. kat kantin ni jugaklah bnyak event yg berlaku.selain dari menjadi tempat melepak menunggu waktu pulang, kat kantin jugaklah ragam ragam manusia dirakamkan. oh yer.lupa nak bagitau.sekolah aku, smk desa perdana merupakan sebuah sekolah yang ada tiga aliran. aliran perdan untuk budak budak normal, dan aliran masalah pembelajara serta aliran masalah pendengaran. aku paling suka aliran maslah pembelajaran sebab mereka semua budak budak special yang baik(^^!)

oh! aku masih ada seminggu SBE untuk dihabiskan...(~~!)

f.o.r. t.h.e. r.e.s.t. o.f. m.y. l.i.f.e.~.

f.o.r. t.h.e. r.e.s.t. o.f. m.y. l.i.f.e.~.

I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along
OOOOO
And theres a couple words I want to say

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along
OOOO
And theres a couple word I want to say

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here
Infront of me I strongly feel love
And I have no doubt
And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you.loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart

Artist: Maher Zain
Album: Thank You Allah
Copyright: Awakening Records 2009

lyric taken from http://www.islamiclyrics.net

**how to say..i love this song.very much.i cant help myself from listening to this song every single time i turn on my lappy. i feel my life getting better! (^^!). great!!

i. l.o.v.e. t.o. b.e. .h.a.p.p.y.~.

i have no idea of what i should write right now. the only matter turns sentient to me is that i feel my life turns to be dejected lately. i felt depressed. i felt unhappy. ah! i don't know. at a certain moment, i felt that i have no one. loneliness creeps into my life all the time. i need my family to cheer me up. sheet! i don't want to be emo~

maybe this is karma as people said. sadness will come after u in returns of happiness u get. i had great days last week. and now, in return of all that, i encounter sadness. haha.its not a big deal to me though. sadness make a person stronger rite? i believe in that. in all the time i have been alive as a person, i had encountered thousands of sadness. and those sadness had made me who i am today. a stronger person in term of spiritual.

ah! i don't want to talk about sadness. someone keep me silent please?~

i love to be happy =)

t.h.a.n.k. .y.o.u. A.l.l.a.h.~.

thank you Allah!

just now i was listening to InsyaAllah, Thank You Allah and few other songs by Maher Zain. frankly speaking, i love all his songs. they did boosted my spirit to the top. thank you Allah particularly, had created spiritually resolution within myself. i am not afraid to stand alone anymore. i know whenever i am alone, He is always be on my-side. He is never away from me. still, it always me and just me who always forgotten Him.~

m.y. g.o.r.g.e.o.u.s. b.a.b.y.~.

come to papa sayang!

oh my~ u r gorgeous. i would never let u go. u jump i jump remember? u r my soul baby!~

ouh~ i luv u! XD~

damm it..when can i have the opportunity to have u!

wait darling~ i will come after u^^~

hey guys~

i would like to introduce my future baby!

Land Rover Freelander 2 / LR2